Beer, baby-doll's and buffoons.

This saturday I was lucky enough to be invited by our esteemed compatriot and fellow Brandonian Larry Reid heretofore referred to as LR to the World Beer Festival in Columbia,SC. My duties were simple, carry a clipboard holding release forms for people to sign so we could use their statements and their image. My real job was to sample as many beers as I could and still remember my duties to the team. A job I was born for. Novice as I was to the world of media, I am a professional in the world of beer drinking. I thought that interviewing ten to twenty people might be tough sell...never more wrong.When people saw a camera they"com a runnin". Andy Warholls fifteen minutes of fame and all. Also I didn't factor in the Giovanna fan club members. Men from eighteen to sixty-five stampeded over me and anything or one in their path to talk to the incomparable Giovanna. I must say after watching her work a crowd of hammered buffoons I might join the club myself. The interviews started off slow but progressed at a steady volume as more beer was consumed by the "tasters". Some of the guys became a little amorous towards Giovanna after a beer or twelve. I thought to myself ..."this could get ugly". Not to worry, Giovanna handled them all with style and poise without any embarrassment or fisticuffs. I was delighted, a brawl might ruin the atmosphere. Now the baby-dolls.One might think that at an event such as this there would a drought of the fairer sex...not so. Actually there were as many women there as men. As with the guys the gals were not immune to camera infatuation. One of the female "guests" became enamored of our cameraman/boss LR and proceeded to intrude on nearly every shot with other baby-dolls by dancing like a twelve year old at a pajama party. Her flirtations with LR are unsuitable for print in this post. However will be used for blackmail in the future. A lot of footage was shot and interviews taken but I don't know how much will be used or could be understood without drunk interpreters. All in all I had a great time and will tune in to Cable vantage if I can find it in my viewing area thereby boosting their viewership to an even dozen.

Busy Busy Busy

Wow.
What a season.
For those that don't know, our company produces commercials and sells airtime on about 60 cable networks for several cable systems across the southeast. We are the largest third-party cable insertion biz in the states, although we are either a dying breed or a model for our parent company, Raycom Media.
I serve as Creative Services Manager, which allows me the choice of scheduling production for our producer staff, or I can choose projects for myself that interest me. For those, I'll conceive and write the spot, pitch it to sales or the business owner or marketing rep, light and shoot it, edit and then send the spot to above mentioned 60 networks for air. Not a bad gig, if you like this sort of thing.
A lttle under a year ago we began producing a local question and answer show called "On the Street" where we roll all over town and ask pertinent local questions of people on the street (think Jay Leno's Jaywalking).
Our initial goal was to produce a show featuring the very people who watch our networks and then air this on our local channel. Our local channel had been in the doldrums the past few years and needed a content shakeup to attract newer and more eyes to the channel. It was my position that featuring locals, who would tell their friends to watch for them on our channel, would create a buzz prompting more to tune in, prompting more conversation, which created more buzz, and so on. We are getting more, much more than we bargained for.
Enter Giovanna.
It was my task (and a pleasant one at that), to audition and chose our on-air talent. With all the corporate cutbacks, my headhunter advertising budget was almost nil so I turned to the best resource for hiring I could find for the money: Craigslist. What an Alice's Restaurant of sites! I placed an ad under "Talent Gigs" for a local show host and laid down the criteria. It was to be a show with an uncertain future and low pay with some exposure (we currently have over 180,000 subscribers).
The first email I received was from a chick with a funny and unusual email address - grandpas cough syrup. Her reply was charming and funny and I was immediately struck by her sense of humor. I emailed back and setup an audition. Giovanna arrived at the station promptly at 10am on a Wednesday. We exchanged pleasantries and, after giving her the nickel tour of the station, we sat down for a chat. She had this look about her that said 'fun, unpredictable and camera-ready". We talked about goals, personal and business, favorite pastimes and our mutual backgrounds (she grew up in the upstate too). We decided to interview a few more possibilities, but I knew that she was the one as soon as she said hello. She's gorgeous, has a playful and mischievous side and charms most everyone she comes in contact with.
The first couple of shows were a learning experience for her as she grappled with the concept of shooting out of order, multiple retakes, getting direction from Andy and I, and not having to stay hard on the script. In light of this, she was the queen of adlibs and had us rolling with her humorous asides. She was indeed the one.
And in this moment, at this place in time, we have just taped our eleventh On the Street. And we had the great fortune of planning this taping around a festival. Not just a festival...but a beer festival. Alas, not just a beer festival but a WORLD BEER FESTIVAL. As ole Barney Fife woulda said - "this is big! This is BIG big!!"
And indeed it was.
I contacted the sponsor, All About Beer magazine, for permission to tape at the event. We received a prompt and excited reply from Julie Johnson, our contact with the magazine. After getting permission from the sponsor, we were put in touch with event co-ordinator Ola N. and it was 'game on'.
Up next-THE BEER FESTIVAL (big-really big!)

More government?

Perhaps this refresher will clear things up for those clamoring for "hope and change" per the ruling class. Then again, maybe not.

Hat tip to Liberal Fascism on NRO:

Past or future past.

This was a more innocent and probably more fun time.

We would all be better off if we could remember it from time to time.

From cheezy to sleezy: The music is all that's changed...

The Democrats of my father's day celebrated the party's victories by playing this song.

Happy days are here again

The skies above are clear again

So let's sing a song of cheer again

Happy days are here again

Pretty sappy stuff in it's own innocent way; but not nearly as deluded as the propaganda that the hopers and changers are actually buying into with the Obamatron. As one of Obama's hip-hop supporters might say, happy mother@%&*#!^ days are here again, mother@%&*#!

So, In honor of bloated, Rooseveltian Democrat Party politics:

BHO's inaguaration transcript with snarky comments

You have to read between the lines a little with poiliticians...especially politicians with a God-complex like BHO. I took the liberty to finish a few of The One's sentences and to throw in a few of my own myopic interpretations. My rants are in red.


My fellow citizens:
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors (that would be ancestor for you). I thank President Bush for his service to our nation , as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition (take a hike bubba!).
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office (actually despite the lack of skill and vision of those in high office), but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents ( I thought we needed to rewrite those pesky documents).
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood (invented, caused and exacerbated by the government). Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred (that's all you can say about ass backward, 6th century living, freedom hating head choppers?). Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some (all the enron guys went to jail or committed suicide, but Frank, Dodd, Gorelick, Johnson etc are still roaming free), but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly (just wait til Uncle Sam starts running it!); our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet (God forbid that we drill for our own oil...and it won't strengthen our adversaries if we kick their asses and take THEIR oil).
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics (What?). Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land - a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights (with socialism that's a certainty).
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time (higher taxes and regulation will damn sure drag it out - it does everytime it's tried). But know this, America - they will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose (fascist liberalism) over conflict and discord (checks and balances).
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas (conservatism), that for far too long have strangled our politics (liberalism/socialism).
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things (When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. I Corinth. 13:11. So adopting liberalism/socialism is manly?...hmmmm). The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less (maybe until now). It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame (bastards!). Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things (evil, greedy capitalists) - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom (and now we gonna tax the crap out of you).
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life (but we did kill the Indians).
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth (but now we've declared it all wet lands and put them out of business).
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn (Mosul, Baghdad, Kandahar, etc).
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction (then why all the PC nonsense and "diversity" at all costs mentality?).
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth (not for long). Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year (but European style socialism will take care of that). Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions (at least he's being honest here, adopting socialism would be an unpleasant decision) - that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America (only people who see life through pretentious liberal eyes think that America needs "remaking". Hey Barry, words have meaning).
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done (taxing, regulating, etc). The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together (we need to "build" these things...they don't already exist?). We will restore science to its rightful place (what the hell does this mean? Does he mean we'll base our economic interest on the so called "science" of climate crisis?), and wield technology's wonders (government) to raise health care's quality and lower its cost (has never happened anywhere and won't happen this time either). We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age (you mean we're going to stop indoctrinating students with a hate America first agenda? Sure you will). All this we can do. And all this we will do (or else?).
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions (socialism) - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose (socialism), and necessity to courage (clumsy sentence alert!).
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments (small government conservatism) that have consumed us for so long no longer apply (were never tried). The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small (I think it is a perfectly good question), but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified (this is government's job?). Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end (LOL!). And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account (by who?: Frank, Dodd, Peslosi and that flock of elitists lefties you've appointed?...) - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government (don't hold your breath).
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye (socialism), the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous (class envy anyone?). The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product (actually an excellent barometer), but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good (socialism).
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals ( Iraq war bad-America wrong). Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake (unless the UN says to). And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born (you know, the village where I attended the Madrassa): know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more (This is one of the stupidest things he said. Insinuating that America hasn't been leading: yeah right, America just ignores the flood, tsunami, and earthquake victims around the world. America's done nothing to fight hunger and AIDS around the world. We haven't defended Europe (at great sacrifice) from Russian agression for 60+ years now. We haven't drawn the line with terrorists and defended people who want to be free. The list could go on and on.).
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks (but they helped a whole bunch!), but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions (Thatcher and Britain...and who else?). They understood that our power alone cannot protect us (are you sure about that Barry?), nor does it entitle us to do as we please (it does if we are being forced to capitulate to tyrants.). Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause (what will constitute "justness" Barry - a nuke in the middle of Manhattan?), the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint (thank you sir may I have another is a bad strategy with idescriminate killers don't you think?).
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations (please, please, please don't hate us!). We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat (It's OK Mahmoud, you can still have a nuke and threaten Israel) and roll back the specter of a warming planet (it's been cooling for the past 10 years, but we won't let FACTS get in the way). We will not apologize for our way of life (sure we will), nor will we waver in its defense (sure we will), and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you (how? with UN mandates and by dismantling the military?).
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness (bullcrap!: our strength is NOT in our "patchwork heritage", it is in our FREEDOM!). We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers (Z nailed you on that one Barry). We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass (Barry, radical Islam ain't buying it bro) ; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve (one world government?); that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity (socialism) shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role (bend over and grab her ankles) in ushering in a new era of peace (this is creepy stuff people).
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect (who's interest and respect for what? Shariah law? Here it is Barry, Islam is going to have to accept western, pluralistic society...or we are going to keep killing the ones who want.). To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy (their "people" won't judge diddly. They'll do what they're told and push their blood thirsty religion all the more). To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist (if he's talking about Islam, they're more likely to whack off said "extended" hand and feed it to you).
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds (but you still can't use ddt or employ any other method that offends socialistic environmentalists). And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect (so we'll starve a few million evil Americans to even things out). For the world has changed (for the worse), and we must change with it (become more socialists).
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains (even though "progressives" think they're uneducated hayseeds). They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves (I'm sure Code Pink is nodding in agreement). And yet, at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do (socialism), it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies . It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break (the one's George Bush had blown up), the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours (great idea, let's start with government!). It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate (assuming it can get born).
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history (but now we need Marxists government to enforce our "goodness"). What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept (I wouldn't bet on that Barry) but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task (what? is he morphing from Lincoln to Lombardi?).
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny (what about for those "unbelievers" you spoke of earlier?).
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed - why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to the future world...that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]." ( I doubt old George had big government socialism in mind, Barry)
America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship (now he's turning into Steinbeck), let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's (there he goes "Godding" us again) grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations (with a lot less economic freedom and a whole lot more moral insecurity thanks to an all knowing, all seeing, all doing federal government).

I get a feeling I should have been home yesterday...

Almost heaven, West Virginia

Blue Ridge mountains, Shenandoah river

Life is old there, Older than the trees

Younger than the mountains, Growin like a breeze.

It is almost heaven there. The snow covered peaks near Summersville and the New River Gorge are beautiful. A quick visit to that fair shire this weekend was a pleasant reminder of John Denver's paean to home and beauty. Seeing the magnificent landscapes of West Virginia, you'd have thought that Robert C. Byrd himself had ordered them up especially for us - such is his judicial prowess and longevity. Now he may not have the supernatural ability to alter the weather for sightseers, but he has miraculously managed to get his name on every thing in sight: bridges, roads, buildings, parks, and enough law to choke a bureaucratic ex-Klansman. Of course, R.C.B. is the esteemed senior - and I mean SENIOR - Senator of West by gawd Virginia. Like the song says, "life is old there".

Country roads, take me home

To the place I belong

West Virginia, mountain momma

Take me home, country roads

And I must say, the Robert C. Byrd memorial rest area near Bluefield boast some of the finest facilities this side of the Missi-sip.

The divine Miss Ann took on Bobby Byrd's hypocrisy many years ago. And despite Byrd's egotistical pursuit to name everything in West Virginia after himself, it is a pretty state.

Climbing the tower.

I busted my ass, actually my head on this very water tower. Me and two "friends" decided we would climb the tower. As usual with these particular "friends" I went first.These "friends" being Chuck H. and my cousin Ray T. And so I began my spectacular assent. As I climbed higher things began looking small beneath me. My breath became labored as the altitude rose. The higher I got the dimmer their voices sounded from below. One misstep would spell disaster. And then it happened... my foot missed a rung and I fell. I plummeted like a missile into the ground, my head striking a rock. I was stunned by the impact. Blood covered my head and face. My stalwart "friends" bolstered my spirit with cries of " get up you ain't hurt"! Later, after arriving home from the neighborhood doctors office, I was told that I fell a unbelievable 4 feet. Rubbing my head and the bandage on it, I reflected on my close call with eternity and my good fortune. Later I would kick both their asses for talking me into such a hairbrained mission.

Stay Tuned...

Larry T. Durham is on "assignment" in the back woods of Up Country South Carolina. If he survives the ordeal, he'll return with all new moronic examples of pure frontier gibberish.

From the blind squirrel finds nut department...

Even the progressive minds at the Huffington Puffington Post are beginning to question the Goracle (oh the humanity!). Hat Tip to Planet Gore on NRO. But you ecocondriacs can cheer up. There is always something to worry about.

The natural progression...

Now if America has gotten with the game plan and at long last earned Her multicultural, gender and sexual equality bones, then the following video, From George Washington to Barack Obama, will proceed accordingly:

At the end of Obama's reign; after the oceans have subsided and the planet has returned to its purified state; and after America has genuflected to the United Nations and admitted total culpability for every problem in the world, ad infinitum; and after evil, job creating, wealth producing Americans have paid through the nose for their unmitigated greed; and after Guantanamo is closed, symbolically demolished and its inhabitants released on the streets on the US; and after government has at last taxed, regulated or taken over damn near everything else; the country will...must...then elect a woman. So, the new version of this video (post BO) will show The One's cherubic puss creepily morph into the delicate features of a female.

And of course it must be a liberal woman. And extra points will be awarded for a liberal, black woman. Don't misunderstand me, I have no misgivings over electing a woman - black and or otherwise. We could use a woman of Margaret Thatcher's mettle about now. But that ain't happening. At this point we are more likely to end up with a doctrinaire left leaning hag wielding a PC whip and joyfully employing the testicle lock box. In fact, as I rethink this, the royal trifecta for a future woman POTUS would be for her to be liberal, black, and lesbian. All the bases would then be covered. All the wrongs perpetrated by the white male patriarchy (for the white, male patriarchy) can be atoned for and gender and sexual justice can at long last be enjoyed. And the more I think about it, I'd have no problem with the prez being black and lesbian...as long as she isn't an ax grinding Marxist, but what is the chance of that? If Obama's succesor is black and lesbian, then you can bet your assets that she'll be able to do the progressive two step in her sleep: one, two tax, one, two spend, one, two ...

Doubtless, all the earth will rejoice with America on Her awakening. Even the head choppers will beat their scimitars into plowshares. Then again, maybe not.

You win some, you lose some and some get rained out...

The Tigers played tough today, but The Huskers were a little bit better. Clemson had the ball first and goal just inside the ten with a buck fifty to go...but it wasn't meant to be: Nebraska wins the Gator Bowl 26-21.

Hats off to Coach Swinney and the boys for rebounding from their mid season malaise to lay a little wood and regain some lost pride. Here's to better days.

And speaking of rebounding, it's time for college hoops! And what's this?!! Our beloved Tigers are 13-0, ranked in the top 20 and fresh off an imperial ass whipping of the hated South Carolina Gamecocks. Coach Purnell's team looks good. Don't be surprised to see them advance a round or two come March Madness time. You heard it first...right here at MTH.

And now we return to the mind addled, irreverent views of 'Midst The Hum.