Dec 31, 2008

And we'll toast to the old days...

And Dimaggio too,
To Drysdale and Mantle
Whitey Ford and to you.

It's out with the old and in with the new. Yeah you're gonna lose that 20 pounds this year. You gonna start that novel that 's been rattling around your head all of your adult life . You gonna start looking forward and stop looking backward. Pray more. Laugh more; frown less. You're going to...change. And not a phony baloney Obamassiah kind of change, but instead, the real McCoy. An actual brunette to blond, fat to muscle metamorphosis. You've given up on Dickens and you've adopted Kafka. Or maybe the other way around. In any event, another year has flown by. With the new year you sense something big on the horizon. Something life altering. For you? For all of us? You pray that we'll all still be here healthy, happy and making the same tired and unfulfilled resolutions this time next year. You take inventory of your life and realize with profound reverence that life is good and that, despite your moments of doubt, the grace of God is enough to sustain you. Regardless of kings, queens or tyrants.

Happy New Year Blogosphere!

Dec 27, 2008

A Southern Christmas Day

Usually at Christmas time in South Carolina we're freezing our noogies off - Yes, we have a Winter-like period in the deep south and it gets cold. No, not a cheek clinching Minnesota type cold, but still cold by our bare footed, buck toothed standards.

But not this year. This year Christmas day was a balmy 63 degrees and your intrepid reporter had the opportunity to take a pontoon ride on beautiful Lake Keowee. And while we grits eaters harbor romantic notions about white Christmases, in reality we wouldn't trade a Christmas day like this one for all the snow in Fargo. The poor saps.

Dec 20, 2008

And to all a good night...

For all you stressed out sheep out there still Christmas shopping for last minute gifts for people you really don't like very much in the first place - a big HO double HO to ya!...and two helpful words: Internet shopping!
So Caroline Kennedy wants to play the Kennedy card and scoop up Hillary Clinton's soon to be vacant senate seat. Charles Krauthammer takes on the silly notion that Sweet Caroline's blue blood is a viable qualification. Didn't we settle this royal ascendancy issue in 76? 1776 that is.

Alas the College football bowl season has begun. Out of the of the 800 bowl games on tap this season, I think I'm looking most forward to the Guam Tech vs. Dildo State game. An instant classic for sure. Of course I'll be watching our Clemson Tigers take on the Nebraska don't call me Corn Huskers in the Gator Bowl January 1. It appears that Nebraska has dropped their "corn" these days for the abbreviated Huskers. What's up with that? Was Corn offended? In this era of rampant political correctness, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that vegetables are people too.

And just in time for Christmas: The Council on American-Islamic relations (CAIR) demands sensitivity and diversity training for Long John Silvers employees. It seems an offending Jesus message was found in a happy meal by a meek and sensitive Muslim youth (oh the humanity!). Don't you people have women to humiliate and buses to blow up? Good grief. In a somewhat related matter...
Happy Kwanzaa to you folks in which gullibility is an art form. Annie C tells the sordid story better than expose' worth reading. From the article:
(Sing to "Jingle Bells")
Kwanzaa bells, dashikis sell
Whitey has to pay;
Burning, shooting, oh what fun
On this made-up holiday!

Meanwhile Congress just gave themselves a $4700 raise. This brings the average pay for members up to $174,000. Pretty brazen stuff given the slumping economy; and more so given the inconvenient fact that their own waste and mismanagement is a primary culprit. Something smells in DC alright Harry, and it isn't the tourist you corrupt bastard.

Hey, I can't leave on such a sour note, especially during this festive time of the year. So Merry Christmas blog world. And don't forget to leave ol' Santa a cookie and big glass of Glenlivet. It's the least you can do.

Dec 16, 2008

Bush and Cheney-change the rules and then play by them

Some tidbits about the dynamic duo that I found while perusing the net...

Charge: "In 1989 Mr. Bush was on the board of directors and audit committee of Harken [Energy]. He acquired that position, along with a lot of company stock, when Harken paid $2 million for Spectrum 7, a tiny, money-losing energy company with large debts of which Mr. Bush was C.E.O. Explaining what it was buying, Harken's founder said, 'His name was George Bush.' Unfortunately, Harken was also losing money hand over fist. But in 1989 the company managed to hide most of those losses with the profits it reported from selling a subsidiary, Aloha Petroleum, at a high price. Who bought Aloha? A group of Harken insiders, who got most of the money for the purchase by borrowing from Harken itself. Eventually the Securities and Exchange Commission ruled that this was a phony transaction, and forced the company to restate its 1989 earnings. But long before that ruling—though only a few weeks before bad news that could not be concealed caused Harken's shares to tumble—Mr. Bush sold off two-thirds of his stake, for $848,000. … Oddly, though the law requires prompt disclosure of insider sales, he neglected to inform the S.E.C. about this transaction until 34 weeks had passed. An internal S.E.C. memorandum concluded that he had broken the law, but no charges were filed. This, everyone insists, had nothing to do with the fact that his father was president" (Paul Krugman, New York Times, July 2, 2002).
Bush did not make his fortune in the oil fields. He made it at a major-league ball park heavily subsidized by taxpayers.
Bush takes credit for conceiving The Ballpark at Arlington, home of the Texas Rangers baseball team, which he bought in 1989 with a wealthy group of investors. Among them: billionaire Richard Rainwater of Fort Worth.
Bush invested just over $600,000, but Arlington taxpayers invested a lot more.
"It was $135 million worth of sales tax money," said attorney Glenn Sodd. "The city donated a good bit of land to the project. They got a sales tax exemption on all the items that were purchased for the stadium. We have a property tax in Texas and they were given as part of the deal a property tax exemption." A total of at least $200 million, according to Sodd.
And there's more: Sodd sued the Rangers on behalf of two families whose property was seized for stadium parking. A jury found they were paid about one-seventh of what the land was worth.
But the Rangers defend the deal.
"Basically, what we think we did was to create a model public-private partnership in which both sides came out ahead," said Bush partner and Rangers President Tom Schieffer.
Bush declined to be interviewed, but Schieffer says taxpayers got their money's worth.
"That's what we have always said in this process: 'If this wasn't good for Arlington, don't do it.' And that's the way we took it to the voters," Schieffer said. "We said, 'This is going to be good for the Rangers, no question about it. This is going to be good for us. But if it's not going to be good for you, don't do it.'"
The team threatened to move, and Arlington taxpayers voted in a half-cent increase in the sales tax. The vote was 2-to-1.
The new, subsidized stadium turned out to be a great deal for Bush. He was the most visible partner, and the publicity helped launch him into the governorship in 1994. And when the team was sold last year Bush's share came to at least $14.9 million with perhaps another $1 million or $2 million still to come.
Jim Runzheimer is one Arlington resident who opposed the deal.
"He put $600,000 into this project and he did a little bit better than Hillary Clinton," Runzheimer said. "She only made ... $100,000 or $200,000, from her dealing in commodities. Gov. Bush has made $15 million."
Fans love the stadium. And the team has flourished financially.
"Looking at it from the perspective of a businessman, this was an awfully sweet deal for the business," said Sodd. "Looking at it as a public official, we think it's lousy policy to use government money to subsidize billionaires in the pursuit of their business interests."
So Bush the businessman did prosper. But not by his bootstraps -- with help from wealthy friends and taxpayer subsidies.

Published on Thursday, April 3, 2003 by
Halliburton, Dick Cheney, and Wartime Spoils
by Lee Drutman and Charlie Cray
Access to Evil -- business dealings in Iraq, Iran, and Libya: News reports suggest that Pentagon is currently using the Iran-Libya Sanctions Act (ILSA) to draw up a blacklist of non-US companies that have done business in Iran. Yet, Halliburton has conducted Business in Iran through subsidiaries. When Cheney was CEO of Halliburton, he inquired about an ILSA waiver to pursue oil field developments in Iran. In 1997, Halliburton subsidiary Halliburton Energy Services paid $15,000 to settle Department of Commerce allegations that the company had broken anti-boycott provisions of the U.S. Export Administration Act for an Iran-related transaction. Halliburton recently agreed to evaluate its operations in Iran, after the Securities and Exchange Commission rebuffed the company's request to dismiss a New York City police and fire pension funds shareholder proposal for the company to examine its role in Iran.
Also forgotten is that story about how Cheney's Halliburton did business with Saddam. According to the Washington Post, "Halliburton held stakes in two firms that signed contracts to sell more than $73 million in oil production equipment and spare parts to Iraq while Cheney was chairman and chief executive officer."
Halliburton has also done business in Azerbaijan, Burma, Indonesia, Libya and Nigeria. As Dick Cheney once said, "The good Lord didn't see fit to put oil and gas only where there are democratic regimes friendly to the United States."
Tax Havens: Under Cheney's tenure, the number of Halliburton subsidiaries in offshore tax havens increased from 9 to 44. Meanwhile, Halliburton went from paying $302 million in company taxes in 1998 to getting an $85 million tax refund in 1999.
All told, the IRS loses about $70 billion a year in offshore tax sheltering by corporations and wealthy individuals - almost enough to cover the $75 billion Bush has asked for to cover the first six months of war.
The Halliburton story is part of a larger dynamic that should not be forgotten in a debate over contractor responsibility. While the Halliburton contracts reek of blatant cronyism, almost all the major firms that provide this kind of work are tied to the administration.
Somebody has to do the job. However, the level of secrecy surrounding the contracts that have been given out so far is troubling, and symptomatic of a bigger problem - the very legitimacy of a reconstruction process controlled by the U.S. military and their corporate contractors. Although the United States has the obligation to pay for the costs of reconstructing Iraq, only the United Nations is the proper body to provide governance and help rebuild a new government, civil society and physical infrastructure if the current regime is overthrown, not the White House, the Pentagon and their corporate cronies.
Note: In honor of Big Business Day 2003, Citizen Works will present Dick Cheney the "Daddy Warbucks" Award for eminence in corporate war profiteering on Friday, April 4

July 17, 2002 | Vice President Dick Cheney has spent most of the past year in hiding, ostensibly from terrorists, but increasingly it seems obvious that it is Congress, the Securities and Exchange Commission, the media and the public he fears. And for good reason: Cheney's business behavior could serve as a textbook case of much of what's wrong with the way corporate CEOs have come to play the game of business.
The game involves more than playing loose with accounting rules, as Halliburton Co. is accused of doing while Cheney was the Texas-based energy company's chief executive.
On Sunday, SEC chairman Harvey Pitt, whom Cheney pushed for the job, reluctantly turned on his sponsor and announced a vigorous investigation of Halliburton's accounting violations. Recent business scandals, however, are also the product of legal loopholes that allow firms to scoop up billions in unregulated profits.
It was just such loopholes that allowed the rise and subsequent fall of Enron and telecom heavyweights like WorldCom -- in the process making CEOs like Dick Cheney very, very rich.
Recall that Cheney was a political hack for most of his professional life, first as a staffer in the Ford White House, then as a congressman for a decade and after that as secretary of defense under the current president's father.
During the Clinton years, however, Cheney took an extremely lucrative five-year cruise into the private sector as chief executive of Halliburton. After deciding, following an extensive search, that he would be George W. Bush's best candidate for vice president, Cheney resigned from the energy services company with a $36 million payoff for his final year of corporate service. This journey from the public payroll to the corporate towers and back left a slimy trail of conflict-of-interest questions. For example, Secretary of Defense Cheney conveniently changed the rules restricting private contractors doing work on U.S. military bases, allowing the Kellogg Brown & Root subsidiary of his future employer Halliburton to receive the first of $2.5 billion in contracts over the next decade. When Cheney left to become CEO of the entire company, he recruited his Pentagon military aide, Joe Lopez, to become senior vice president in charge of Pentagon dealings, which ultimately formed the most lucrative part of the otherwise ailing company's business. Since returning to public office, these disturbing patterns have continued. In a scathing exposé of Halliburton's military contracts, for example, the New York Times revealed that the vice president's old company had been the main beneficiary of the Pentagon's rush to build anti-terrorism military bases around the world. This new work will cost taxpayers many billions, and, according to Pentagon investigators' estimates, without any cost controls the final bill will be considerably higher than if the military's own construction units do the work. Cheney denies having a role in securing those recent contracts, as he denies any knowledge of Halliburton's alleged accounting improprieties. Unfortunately for Halliburton's stockholders and employees, parlaying his Pentagon contacts into profit has proved to be Cheney's only major business success. In fact, CEO Cheney put Halliburton's future in doubt by engineering the acquisition of rival Dresser Industries, a move ballyhooed at the time as justification of his $2.2 million annual salary and massive stock options.But the acquisition has proved to be a disaster because Halliburton assumed Dresser's long-term liability under asbestos lawsuits. Even without the Dresser acquisition, Cheney was running a failing operation at Halliburton. The company, despite the government gravy garnered, had earnings well below Wall Street's expectations --until it suddenly changed its accounting rules. By assuming it would be able to collect on cost overruns on myriad construction projects, Cheney's Halliburton was able to inflate profits by $234 million over a four-year period. Halliburton failed to disclose its accounting shenanigans to the SEC or the company's investors for more than a year afterward, leading to more than a dozen lawsuits alleging fraud, including one by Judicial Watch. And why are we not surprised that Halliburton's accounting firm was Arthur Andersen, earlier this year convicted of obstruction of justice for shredding documents in connection with Enron? Andersen's dubious methods have become the disgrace of American accounting. Cheney, however, was sufficiently enamored with it that in 1996 he glowingly endorsed the accounting firm in a video, thanking it for going "over and above the just-sort-of-normal, by-the-books audit arrangement." Of course, ordinary investors did not know they were getting less than "by-the-books" auditing. It is especially ugly that the president and vice president -- men in a position to know just how sketchy the accounting practices of public companies are -- were so eager to make our Social Security system a vehicle for pouring individuals' retirement money into a stock market they knew to be a house of cards.
cost overruns before it was certain of getting paid.

Halliburton has contracts worth more than $1.7 billion for its work in Iraq, and it could make hundreds of millions more from a no-bid contract it was awarded by the Army Corps of Engineers, The Washington Post has reported.

According to The Post, while Cheney was defense secretary the Pentagon chose Halliburton subsidiary Brown & Root to study the cost effectiveness of outsourcing some military operations to private contractors. Based on the results of the study, the Pentagon hired Brown & Root to implement an outsourcing plan. Cheney became Halliburton CEO in 1995.

CBS/AP) A report by the Congressional Research Service undermines Vice President Dick Cheney's denial of a continuing relationship with Halliburton Co., the energy company he once led, Sen. Frank Lautenberg said Thursday.

The report says a public official's unexercised stock options and deferred salary fall within the definition of "retained ties" to his former company.

Cheney said Sunday on NBC that since becoming vice president, "I've severed all my ties with the company, gotten rid of all my financial interest. I have no financial interest in Halliburton of any kind and haven't had, now, for over three years."

Democrats pointed out that Cheney receives deferred compensation from Halliburton under an arrangement he made in 1998, and also retains stock options. He has pledged to give after-tax proceeds of the stock options to charity.

Cheney's aides defended the assertion on NBC, saying the financial arrangements do not constitute a tie to the company's business performance. They pointed out that Cheney took out a $15,000 insurance policy so he would collect the deferred payments over five years whether or not Halliburton remains in business.

Lautenberg, D-N.J., asked the Congressional Research Service to weigh in.
Without naming Cheney or Halliburton, the service reported that unexercised stock options and deferred salary "are among those benefits described by the Office of Government Ethics as 'retained ties' or 'linkages' to one's former employer."

Lautenberg said the report makes clear that Cheney does still have financial ties to Halliburton. "I ask the vice president to stop dodging the issue with legalese," Lautenberg said.

Cathie Martin, Cheney's spokeswoman, said the question is whether Cheney has any possible conflict of interest with Halliburton, "and the answer to that is, no."

Cheney was chief executive officer of Halliburton from 1995 through August 2000. The company's KBR subsidiary is the main government contractor working to restore Iraq's oil industry in an open-ended contract that was awarded without competitive bidding.

According to Cheney's 2001 financial disclosure report, the vice president's Halliburton benefits include three batches of stock options comprising 433,333 shares. He also has a 401(k) retirement account valued at between $1,001 and $15,000 dollars.

His deferred compensation account was valued at between $500,000 and $1 million, and generated income of $50,000 to $100,000.

In 2002, Cheney's total assets were valued at between $19.1 million and $86.4 million.

Earlier this month, a federal judge dismissed a lawsuit that accused Halliburton and Cheney of misleading investors by changing the way the company counted revenue from construction projects.

The lawsuit was filed last year by Judicial Watch, a conservative public interest group, on behalf of three small investors, who said the company tried to polish financial results by booking revenue on
cost overruns before it was certain of getting paid.

Halliburton has contracts worth more than $1.7 billion for its work in Iraq, and it could make hundreds of millions more from a no-bid contract it was awarded by the Army Corps of Engineers, The Washington Post has reported.

According to The Post, while Cheney was defense secretary the Pentagon chose Halliburton subsidiary Brown & Root to study the cost effectiveness of outsourcing some military operations to private contractors. Based on the results of the study, the Pentagon hired Brown & Root to implement an outsourcing plan. Cheney became Halliburton CEO in 1995.

Dec 14, 2008

Lucy...This ees Ree-diculus

This day started out like any other. You wake up, drag yourself to the coffeemaker and get the lifeblood flowing. Then stumble to the bathroom for the morning hello. Then you realize that yes...I did buy a car last night. Not a new one, mind you-a 1998 Volkswagen Jetta with 127,000 miles on it. I wouldn't have bought a high mileage car like this except for the fact that I knew the owner. Friend and co-worker Tim is as anal a guy about maintaining a car as they come. The VW is in immaculate condition, and has a new transmission! I got a great deal on the car as Tim had already picked up his new Lexus and needed to unload the Jetta for more than the car dealer was willing to offer. Enter me.
I rode over to Tim's place in Red Bank, about 17 miles, to get the car. Tim wanted to give me the once over on the car, showing me everything from the spare tire location to how the rear seats fold down. He had detailed the car and filled up the tank for me and I was extremely happy with the purchase.
Since the VW is a straight drive, I took my time picking up the clutch nuances that anyone who's ever driven a straight drive can attest to. I retrieved the car at 8PM last night and was afforded an opportunity to check out it's night features (high beams, instrument panel lights, etc.). I was pleasantly surprised with the pep of the small four-cylinder as I hit 90mph on the interstate quite easily. Soon, I was at home forcing Laura to come out and see the new ride.
Work has been strange lately, business all but vanishing one week only to roar in the next week to a level almost unmanageable. This has been a roaring week. We were booked at 9:45 this morning to shoot another episode of On The Street, this one with a twist. The Muscular Dystrophy Association had invited our show host, the lovely Giovanna, to be “arrested” and raise “bail” to get her out of jail. A great charity, a worthy cause, and they wanted to include Giovanna since her popularity around Columbia is growing by leaps and bounds. The “detainees” were to be held in a makeshift cell at O'Charley's on Harbison in Columbia. Andy, our production coordinator, thought that it would be really cool if we staged an O.T.S. and shot it like an episode of COPS. I would ride in the police car with their POV camera, Andy would be shooting the open of the show with Gio. We would combine the two angles and add some “Bad Boys' type music to the piece, follow Gio and the cops as they arrest her, put her in the squad car and drive her to O'Charley's where they would “book” her and she would call friends and businesses for help in bailing her out. We had secured all the clearances that we needed and were ready to roll.
I arrived at the location, a Publix store across the lot from O'Charley's. As I was pulling into the lot I noticed blue lights behind me. Shit, I'm being pulled! I turned into the O'Charley's lot and stopped. Then I saw more flashing blues – hell I have two cops pulling me! What could I have done that was so wrong that it took double the law to contain me? As the young policeman approached the drivers side window, I spied the other lawman, er, I mean law person of color standing just behind the passenger side door. I had already gathered my bill of sale, the signed title and the paperwork for the DMV since I was sure that they were going to bring up the fact that there was no tag on the car. This, it seems, was the only issue. The young officer asked about the missing tag and I handed him the paperwork while explaining to him that I had picked the car up at 8PM last night, I didn't have time to hit the DMV this morning before work but would have a tag by lunchtime. He took my license and all the paperwork and went to the squad car to radio me in. Time: 9:32AM.
At 9:45 I called Giovanna to tell her of my fate. “Hell Gio”, I said. “We could almost shoot a real episode of COPS with me as the half-drunk trash. Should I take off my shirt?” Ha ha ha..ha ha. “Oh I see you”, says Gio. “Why do you have two cops? I thought that they were only sending one?”
About this time Gio pulled up next to me and rolled down the window. “They're early”, she says.
“No', I replied. “They pulled me because I have no tag”.
“MOVE ALONG” shouted the officer of color. She was standing outside the male officer's squad car awaiting, I assumed, word from HQ that the car was not reported stolen. Gio looked at her as if to say “huh?” when the officer yells “YOU HAVE TO MOVE”. Gio looked at me, shrugged shoulders and did a U turn in the parking lot. She stopped next to the squad car and, with her glorious smile and playful eyes, said to the officers “that's my boss – give him as many tickets as you can” Ha ha ha..ha ha. They paid no attention to her-she moved along. Time: 9:51
Still awaiting my fate, and the engine still running, I looked to the cop outside the squad car for some answer to this simple non-dilemma. She was no help as she kept looking away when we would make eye contact. This went on for several minutes until I gave up on that. I called Andy to crack the same joke about shooting the real COPS episode but Gio had reached him by then and filled him in on what was happening. After I hung up with Andy I see the cop slowly emerge from his car and head my way. His backup made her way around to the passenger side to resume her backup stance. Officer “B”, we'll call him, proceeds to hand over my paperwork and my drivers license. As he hands me the title, he includes a citation, a ticket – not a warning! A ticket which had the outrageous fine of $232.50 for no license tag! Maybe they had paid attention to Gio after all....hmmmmm. Time: 10am
I say to Officer B “You gotta be kidding!”. He proceeds to explain to me that one cannot drive a car with no license's against the law. Then he tells me to call and find a ride as I will be parking the car and not driving it until it has a plate on it's rear end. “Don't I have 45 days to apply for a tag?” I ask. “Go park the car”, he says. "If I see you driving it before you get a plate I'll ticket you”.
Fettered, I drive the car to the Publix lot and park next to Andy and Gio. Needless to say, I am highly pissed! Trying to put the episode behind me, and vowing to fight it in court, we proceeded with our shoot. While Andy and Gio were shooting the open I walked down to O'Charley's to meet my police escort. As I entered the front door, lo and behold who should be standing there but Officer B. I had my camera in my hand and was greeted by Eric, the MDA rep. First, he points to the cop and says “introduce yourselves” to us. “We've met” I reply. Officer B grinned and shook his head as if to say “oh shit”. “Yes, I am your camera guy this morning”, I said, looking around for his partner, who was in the ladies room. At this point Eric approaches and informs me that O'Charley's corporate will not allow us to shoot in the restaurant. “But the cell is setup in here, the phone bank – everything is happening inside” I said. “Sorry” was all he could say.
Well, ain't this just a big ole crock of shit! Making my way back across to the Publix, I tell Gio and Andy about the location change and we try and figure how we can shoot a lockup scene with no lockup, or a bail-me-out-by-phone scene without the phones. Since this was not a paid gig, and since the host charity had thrown us this impossible curve, we decided to cancel the shoot. Gio would still be 'arrested' and raise money for the charity but without doing a show around it. We go back over to O'Charley's to tell the cops that we would not need their services. They seemed to think that we canceled the episode because of the ticket. Not so-that's another battle for another day. Officer B, seemingly embarrassed, began to tell me if I took my new tag to court that the judge would probably waive the fine. I asked the good officer if he would show up on my behalf, but received no definitive answer from him there.
I had to hitch a ride back to the station with Andy, leaving the VW parked on Harbison. Thank God I had left my old car downtown in the parking garage. I picked it up, drove to the DMV and got my registration. Since I was transferring the old tag to the VW, I had to then drive to Newberry (in the pouring rain), go to the house and park the Chevy, remove the tag (in the pouring rain), take the truck back down to Columbia, attach the tag to the VW (in the pouring rain), pick Laura up at the mall in the truck, drive back down to Publix and get the VW and follow her home(in the pouring rain). In addition to all this (as well as missing a half day of work), I have to go to court on December 23 and appear before a judge (missing another half day of work) and hope that he reduces this ridiculous fine. Isn't there supposed to be a modicum of common sense applied to our laws? Damn...I'm still pissed!

Dec 12, 2008

Arkanside for Blagojevich?

The mainstream media is pushing the talking point that Gov. Blagojevich is unstable and maybe riding the "insane train". If I was the governor I would make a point that everyone knows that I would never under any circumstance take my own life. These tactics were the very ones favored by the Clintons for their adversaries in Arkansas. It was called the "nuts and sluts" defense. The Clinton's practically filled graveyards with this tactic. Allegations were not answered, their proponents were smeared and defamed with charges that they were "delusional" or misguided. If that didn't work then they appeared to commit suicide. After all they were unstable. It is no coincidence that Rahm Emmanuel is working for Obama. He filled the same position for the Clinton's. The same tactics are at work here as in Arkansas. This is not by chance. Therefore if I was mister "goingtojailovich" and wanted to keep breathing, I would cooperate and grab my ankles. This a skill he needs to master in the future anyway. For those who do know the term Arkanside is suicide with a little help!

Actual road sign near Newberry SC made famous in the 90s. You just can't make this stuff up.

Dec 11, 2008

Crisis mongering in the rain...

It has been so long since it rained substantially in Upstate South Carolina that today's steady downpour has resulted in some odd behavior amongst the locals. Even as I blog, my neighbors are running up and down our street naked and babbling incoherently. I won't be joining them but photos are forthcoming. It so infrequently rains here these days that children aged 10 and under are cowering in fear. The gloom of the clouds has shaken them from their X-Box stupor. For many of them, this is the first time they've actually seen rain. Parents are in a snit attempting to reassure their insular prodigy that the "crisis" is temporary, and that the sun will indeed shine again. The photo at the top illustrates just how dry it has been here the last 10 years. The protrusion shown here is of a bridge submerged 50 years ago when Lake Hartwell was created. Its baaack.

Crisis, crisis, crisis everywhere a crisis:
  • The US auto companies are so out of gas that the fuel hand has disappeared from sight. Now they're standing on the shoulder of the road, crestfallen, holding an empty gas can, asking anybody and everybody (American taxpayers) to help push them to the local Citgo.
  • What hasn't been said about the financial avalanche perpetrated on the public by Freddie, Fannie and guvmint trolls like Barney Frank n' Beans? I suggest the Enron treatment for Dodd, Franks, Gorelick and the rest. I won't hold my breath.
  • Layoffs, cutbacks and overall economic paranoia grip the population. The MSM is nearly orgasmic with their delivery of the bad news; likewise in their trumpeting of the blessed solutions of Barry, The One, the spreader, the planet healer, the transcender of race, Obama.

Of course the blessed solutions to the country's ills requires that the always wise and benevolent federal government binge on your wallets. It's the only way to assure the fairness that so many of you out there in greed infested flyover country have resisted. Where is your patriotism you rubes? Have you no sense of crisis identification?

But it is raining in Upstate S.C. today and my buck naked neighbors are imploring me to join them in their romp. Well, why not? Photos not forthcoming. So for the rest of you folks bummed out by Crisis America, It's raining and I'm the king of the world as far as I know.

Dec 8, 2008

Treading water in a sea of blogs...

The blogoverse is a big place. Hit the next blog tab at the top of your blogger page and you'll likely be confronted with all sorts of inane ramblings : Blogs about mommies, daddies and their entire brood of blograts. Blogs about kittens, puppies and hermit crabs (this lady and I share a love for The Beatles, but that's about it). Blogs by fuzzy little foreigners are everywhere. Not that there 's anything wrong with fuzzy little foreigners...unless they're trying to blow up the doughnut shop you're sitting in. But I digress. Then of course there are the blogs that dabble in opinion. Tens of thousands of them espousing all types of bloviational deviancy. Like they say, opinions are like elbows and ***holes, everybody's got one.

And I've got opinion that is. Hence, I gravitate toward those bloggers that think somewhat like I do; you know, cross burning, uptight conservatives so strung out on Jesus that they don't know their asterisk from a semi colon. At least that seems to be the prevalent view of the right wing blogosphere from those progressive minded people who lurk in the comments section, patiently waiting on an idiotic post from an extra chromosome rightie-tightie blogger like yours truly. And I must admit, sometimes I oblige them by exhibiting just how provincial I am. Hi Ho.

And I intend to broaden my horizons just as soon as I get this Bible closed and get out of my pajamas.

Oh but I have a reciprocal lurking agreement with the progressive movement. I frequently check in on those paragons of open mindedness just to see what they're up to. Of course, over in Huffington-Puffington land you get no quarter...or should you. But that's freedom of speech for you: both a curse and a blessing. So I enjoy nuking the recycled hippies that post their hybrid nonsense while hiding behind their green agenda. And they love to dish it back, and they do so, often times with spittle spewing diatribes worthy of doubling their Zoloft prescriptions. I do love to get a rise.

Yes the Blogosphere is a universe unto itself. How many blogs are there? Well, how many stars are there in the sky? How many grains of sand are there on the beach? How many people saw The Beatles on Ed Sullivan? How many morons are there hunched before their keyboards cranking out sophomoric drivel while their wives are screaming at them for not taking out the garbage? Who knows?

In any event, you gotta love the blogs. It one great big cyber fun house mirror of opinion tempered by every psychosis known to man...and some not yet named.

So I'm off now, Nurse Ratched is leering over my shoulder imploring me to calm down and take my medication. I'm OK, I'm OK, I'm OK.

Dec 7, 2008

Christmas upon us.

It's that time of year "again". Even though I adore the true message of Christmas this time of the season brings out the Jeckle and Hyde in me. I revere the story of the nativity and the holy truth of it's meaning. I detest the shoping and hub-bub. I love and enjoy the fellowship with friends and family. I hate all the extra hassle at work and home. I love picking the "cool gifts" but I dread going to get them. I love Christmas songs especially any done by Karen Carpenter. If GOD made a more wonderfull voice He kept it for Himself. However, if I hear "Jingle bell rock"one more time...I may climb a clock tower with a bazooka. But.... all in all....MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Dec 2, 2008

I have the answer

Guns. Guns are the answer. What's the question, you ask? Everything, I reply. Guns are the answer to most of society's ills. No, I'm not taking an anti-gun stance here. Quite the contrary. I say that all Americans, I'm taliking Americans born in America, raised in America and will eventually be six-feet-down-toes-up under good old American soil, these fine Americans should be issued a firearm at birth. They should have their first picture taken at the hospital with their "little friend" at their fingertips, unloaded of course.
I can see the photo album for the kid, starting with the hospital shots and moving to:
Junior nursing the barrel of his 44 magnim pacifier;
here's Junior at 9 months learning to walk with his pump shotgun;
aww, look. Here's Junior at 22 months posing with his new cap and Uzi.

The old west was won with guns. The Civil War was fought and won (or lost, depending on geography) with guns. The American Revolution, two World Wars, Korea...all won with guns.
If I confront a burgler or robber, and have a gun in my hand, chances are he won't make that stupid decision to follow through with his evil plans.

It's not only a God-given right to own a gun but a birthright, almost a necessity in these times.

Dec 1, 2008

Thanksgiving Leftovers...

smell so good.

First off, a huge thank you to the blogtastic Nikki. She's the fastest (and most accurate) gun in the west. We highly recommend her. Flak jacket required.

Oh yes, victory is sweet. The Clemson Tigers lead by interim coach, Dabo Swinney, who was selling commercial real estate a few years ago, defeated The University of South Carolina lead by hall of fame legend, Steve the old ball coach Spurrier. That's really gotta sting. And they did it handily and maliciously 31-14. And you South Carolina University fans know it could have been worse...Once more the world is spinning in greased grooves.

And now Dabo has been officialy named Head Coach at CU. Cocka-doodle-doo!

Note to the Obamatron: Now that you've had the brilliant idea to appoint Hillary Rodman Clinton to SOS, you might want to look in to hiring a food taster. It's a magnanimous gesture and all, and maybe keeping your enemies closer is a good strategy with some people, but keeping HRC and Billy Jeff around could be hazardous to your health. Just trying to help you out Barry.

The election of BHO not only will heal the planet, there is now a smiley face in the skies over Australia. Hey Barry, we've got this drought going on here. Do you think...?