Yeti, the Lizard Man, Sasquatch,. Loch Ness, Bigfoot,Elvis sightings and Hillary Clinton.
Images and headlines that have blared out from supermarket aisles Tabloids for as long as I care to remember, UFO babies, Bat Boy, George W.Bush,,the Illuminati and Monica's blue dress. And we believe all the bullshit, buy the papers, cast our votes, invest in our future, wash our cars and paint our houses. Haven't we been told that by 2013 the world is ending? Haven't we been warned about the rapture and it's consequences? Sumerians, Tibetans, Egyptians, Cherokees, Hopi, and Mayans refer to a 26,000 year cycle which ends with the solstice of 2012 (December 21)and the end of time. These guys had to get it right, right? I mean, what are they saying now?
They're saying nothing...nada...zilch...because they're all dead! Well, most of 'em are. They spoke of a time when the world will cease to spin (they knew this?), the heavens will swallow the earth in a cataclysmic ball of fire and spit it back out as a giant turd into the void. Well, excuse me while I go shopping. Let's see, exactly what should one pack for such a journey? "Welcome to The Armeggedon Store, may I take your order?"
"Yes, I'll take a pair of those Doc Marten boots, the 12" bowie knife, box of candles, matches, a lead-lined tent, shotgun with ammo, portable radio with a shitload of batteries, a stack of the Playboy magazines and that Washburn guitar". "Oh, and throw in one of those Elmer Fudd caps cause the nuclear winter might get 'vewy vewy cold'"
My butt!
Look, I'm no pessimist. I carry a 'hope card' in my wallet and use it all the time. Hell, I've even earned reward points! But c'mon. How can I continue to read all this grim news without somehow wanting to cave in to it? Where is all the good news? I'm not talking about Brady Bunch good news where Marsha finally gets her period but news that would give all humanity hope for a secure future. Not happening. eh?
Oh well..."hey dude, throw in another box of candles and that stack of Hustler magazines too"
Oy veh.
2 comments:
To my fellow brandonite and PHS graduate I would like to say....You go boy, no one gets out alive anyway.So fire one up ,drink a cold one,then duck and cover.All I can really say is to choose your side and hope you are right!Thats what I am gonna do. Hallalueya pass the ammunition!
Now that's funny right there :)
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