Tigers Play Smackdown With South Carolina

Tigers 31
Spurrier Worshipers 14


Condescending analysis to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The long awaited Larry King interview with Steve Spurrier

Larry King: Monday we'll have the two Barbara's, Feldon and Eden, both looking good and offering up sex tips for septuagenarians. You won't want to miss it.

Tonight we welcome former Heisman winner and national championship head coach at the University of Florida- and current University of South Carolina top banana, the legendary "old ball coach", Steve Spurrier. Welcome coach.

Steve Spurrier: Good to be here Larry

LK: Coach, it has to be tough for a guy like you with all the success you had at UF to have an experience like the Redskins and now North Carolina.

SS: That's South Carolina, Larry. And yeah, it's tough to fail at the pro level and then show up to a place like this with no athletic tradition, really low expectations and a stadium in the warehouse district.

LK: Did you ever consider retiring...its rumoured that you got a pretty sweet deal when you signed on at SC...Augusta National membership and all.

SS: Somebody is full of crap if they think I got a deal like that here in South Carolina. Heck, they still got that flag...which ought to tell you something about this place. Anyway I think I burned my Augusta National membership bridge when I whizzed in the woods off 14.

LK: Wednesday the whole hour with the "Hoff" himself, David Hasselhoff.

So how's the team shaping up this year coach?

SS: Oh, I think we can be pretty good if I can keep 'em from hanging out in 5 Points, getting drunk, fighting and keying cars and the like. But, you know, all teams go through this, they have the same kinda thing up at Clemson; only they get away with it.

LK: Can North Carolina compete in the always tough SEC?

SS: That's South Carolina damn it! And I think we can compete even though we play in the toughest conference in America. We had some good wins last year; we beat Georgia in Athens, Clemson hasn't done that much

LK: We've got a caller from Easley, South Carolina. Go ahead caller you're on with Steve Spurrier.

Caller: Steve, did you really tell that Paulk kid that you'd never lose to Clemson again?

SS: Like I said after that game, Rodney Paulk is full of crap if he said I said that. And then that Clemson fan put up that damn billboard. I think that was a little over the top.

LK: Thursday we'll have Martha Stewart and Joan Rivers...don't miss that one!

Coach, you seem a little obsessed with Clemson...

SS: Well, if we played their schedule we'd be playing in January every year...

LK: Anything to this "chicken curse"?

SS: Yeah, there might be.

LK: We'll have a special Larry King Live this Sunday with Alec Baldwin, Ted Turner, Suzanne Summers...

Now THIS is football!