Of Weddings, Age and Mornings After

It has happened.
My son has finally tied the knot, gotten married, jumped the broom, made the plunge, etc. etc. Mike and Cat were married in a beautiful ceremony at the fabulous Summer House in downtown Newberry, SC at 2pm on Saturday. The weather, despite a threat from Hurricane Hannah, was absolutely perfect, with a light breeze and sunny skies. Friends and family from California, Indiana, Florida, and some from as far away as Greenville and Pickens County attended and made the perfect day even more perfecter(?) The groomsmen and the groom were decked out in black formal slacks, black shirt and white silk ties...kinda like Johnny Cash meets the Sopranos.
The bridesmaids, dressed in above the knee, low cut cocktail dresses (much to the admiration of the groomsmen) with black shoes. Each bridesmaid chose a different style of dress with special made jewelry by the bride to compliment each dress.
But before we go into further detail about the actual ceremony, let's digress a bit to the evening before.

The Rehearsal Dinner
Being the parents of the groom, our main responsibility (other than making sure Mike made the ceremony on time) was to throw the rehearsal after-party. Being Reids (synonymous with broke as hell), we chose the down-home in Carolina approach - BBQ and Karaoke. We hired Hawg Heaven from Prosperity to cater the event and provide us with some BBQ, green beans, mac & cheese, baked beans and fried chicken. Yummy...it sure was good! These folks earned every penny of their fee with good, hot food and friendly (and pretty) servers. Roger and Peggy decided that the party needed some alkeehol, thus stocking a bar with a plethora of liquors and beer that would quench a moonshiner's thirst. After the brief rehearsal, we chowed down and then made room for the chocolate/strawberry groom's cake.
Karaoke was a big hit with all. Our friend Martha was in attendance and, as a former Karaoke host herself, kept the party raucous and rolling. The more the alcohol flowed, the more singers we saw on the stage. Good singers too! Peggy and Roger seemed to have a good time, Mike and Cat were in much demand as a singing act (they harmonize like angels) and Laura and I felt that we had indeed thrown a good party. This was my second realization of the week that I'm no spring chicken anymore. The first was a young man's bachelor party which began at midnight Thursday evening. I was there and lasted until almost 2am. By 3am I was home in bed for a 5:30 wakeup call with a 10 hour workday ahead.
Friday was a blur as I had to pick up the groom's cake and make final preparations for the dinner.
Brother Gary and family were in attendance as well and we bellied up to the bar and drank toasts until they no longer made any sense at all. Then we toasted to being drunk. After that, the party moved to Fort Reid and a few more drinks before we all passed out cold.

The Nuptials
We expected, being Reids, that the day would break with a minor hurricane lashing at us. Instead the day was beautiful, sunny and muggy like a typical southern September day should be. The guests began arriving at 12:45, the tents and chairs were all setup and ready, the wedding party was busy with the photographer (who was wonderful), and the groomsmen were all reeling from an early morning hangover. It was great to see all those old family and friends gathered in one place without a dead person as the center of attention. A joyous mood prevailed as Peggy rushed around from place to place insuring that all was ready and perfect for the bride. She was successful in this endeavor. At promptly 2pm the procession began. The pastor led the way, followed by Mike, me, Chris and Lee. The bridesmaids were next, the ring bearer and flower girl bringing up the rear. Then Catherine appeared on the arm of her ex-military uncle. She was stunning! Mikey did well, very well!
We went through the ceremony without incident (except the ring bearer cried) and all processed out.
The reception was as beautiful as the wedding with food and drink all around.
God smiled on us all this day! Mike and Cat are now honeymooning in San Francisco and Monterrey, California. May they have a pleasant trip!

The Brandon File: Sometimes folks got touchy.

For this edition of the BF, I thought I’d sit down and spin a good old mill hill story; one that involved some of those quaint remembrances held by many of our brethren shuttle dodgers. Something like, “ we never locked our screen door”, or, “we slept with the windows up and the doors open all the time“. Well, that’s all a sweet notion, and I'd love to romanticize with you, but by the time I came along if you left the doors open all the time that way you’d likely wake up with nothing left in the house but you and the bed.

Sure, we were relatively safe, but there were more than a few bad eggs in the basket. I think it would be safe to say that after the silencing of the looms, there was a perceptible increase in lawlessness. However, that is not to say that all of the following examples were instances of malicious intent, but some of them were; and for whatever reason, these memories have stuck with me all these years.

• The local pyromaniac-let’s call him Charles-was a dedicated craftsman. After setting a fire, he was always the first one on the scene to help put it out. An apparent hall mark of pyromania. A little prison time for performing his chosen craft and some other misdeeds seemed to set him straight…or did it? He was among the pioneers of neighborhood glue sniffers and gasoline huffers. A luminary indeed, an artisan. Add that deviance to his proclivity for burning things down, and you had an intriguing mix. One that you damn sure kept your eye on.
  

Once in a while the villagers would take matters into their own hands.

• Abusive husband shot by battered wife that appears to be a case of self defense-check. Background: Hubby comes home from an inebriational stroll and commences to beating on his wife. By all accounts, he had a penchant for this type of behavior. But this time she was waiting on him. The shot propelled him backward into a lazy boy where he died of his wounds. After an investigation, she was charged, but eventually released.



• Abusive son in law shot by father of battered daughter that seems most likely a case of self defense -check. A little background: Daughter arrives at mom and dads crying hysterically and claiming that her hubby has beaten her up. Like clock work, the aforementioned white, twenty something male storms through the front door, cursing and waving a pistol. His first step into the living room was also his last. Playing the role of Grim Reaper, the father of the bleeding bride punched that fellow's ticket to eternity with two well placed shots to the upper torso. After an investigation, he was charged, but eventually released.



• Abusive nephew hacked with hatchet by “fed up” uncle-check. The nephew (Danny) survived, but the hair never grew back over his left ear-ouch. Background: The nephew in question here was a notorious "thumper" as Col. G. Stonehill described Rooster Cogburn in True Grit. I once saw Danny dook it out with a guy outside the skating rink. He was the smaller of the two, but he was relentless in a Mike Tyson kind of way. He had the guy bleeding and on the ground whimpering, "ok, ok". I'm sure the uncle was aware of Danny's aggressive tendencies; hence, the hatchet.



• Father of pyromaniac Charles blown into the great beyond by a fellow A&E Grill companion-check. It is probably safe to say that the shooting was over money, a woman or both-double check. A veritable redneck stew of beer battered idiocy simmered over blazing stupidity. I believe our esteemed colleague, Tony R. Durham, was an eye witness to this infamous event (or at least the aftermath).

OK, I know what you're thinking. "This guy (meaning me, your humble author) is hung up on drunkards, murderers and fire bugs. Has he nothing else?" Which I'm happy to reply to by saying...well, I might not. I do have some fond memories, and I'm sure I'll get around to them...eventually; but for now it's gonna be drunkards, murderers and fire bugs. Those were the days my friend.

Out of the abyss and into the quagmire...

After a small break from either reading blogs or writing in one, I return to the relative obscurity of MTH. I'll post a Brandonfile later today that further studies the not so romantic side of of the cotton generation.

Meanwhile, I plan to stay awake tonight for the unveiling of this contraption. Some say it will unlock the mysteries of the universe, others say it will act as a time machine that could become a portal for extraterrestrials to come through. If the latter is the case, then I say we construct a LaPetomane thru-way. Our visitors better bring a "shit-load of dimes".

Update: Another opinion is that the start up of the Collider will result in the creation of a "black hole" that will in no time flat swallow up the earth.

Crap! I was going to plant a tree today. Well forget that!

A Confederacy of Dunces

No, I’m not talking about Congress but instead the hysterically funny novel by John Kennedy Toole. My advice is to buy the book and read it. It is satire and parody at its best with the newsworthy setting of New Orleans. I can’t begin to describe the story; but, I can guarantee you that by the time you are finished with ACOD, the name Ignatius J Reilly will be stamped indelibly in your conscience

But the real story isn’t about the comic brilliance of ACOD, but rather the tragic irony of the author’s life and death. Toole committed suicide in 1969 apparently distraught over not being able to get his masterpiece published.

However, Toole’s mother never gave up her son’s dream. Her persistence paid off when, at her urging, author Walker Percy read the manuscript and loved it. ACOD was published in 1980 with a forward by Percy:

It is a great pity that John Kennedy Toole is not alive and well and writing. But he is not, and there is nothing we can do about it but make sure that his gargantuan tumultuous human tragicomedy is at least made available to a world of readers.--From the Forward by Walker Percy

I was introduced to the novel that year by old pal from the steel mill days, Matt Myers. I read ACOD the first time in my Lily Street apartment. I have read it many times since. So, in honor of ‘Nawlins, or what’s left of it, I give you A Confederacy of Dunces.